Author of this article: Robert L. Mills.

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• <html> <head> <title>Andy Williams Without the Osmonds</title> </head> <body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" leftmargin="0" topmargin="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0"> <h1>Andy Williams Without the Osmonds</h1> <strong>Author: Robert L. Mills</strong><br /> <p></p> <p>Taking a cue from Will Rogers, Bob Hope never met a holiday he didn’t like.<br />Be it Easter, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s, Groundhog Day or the Ides of<br />March, a holiday theme was always as welcome around the production<br />office as a hot buttered rum in a winter snowstorm.<br /><br />Christmas, of course, was Hope’s annual theme champ even during<br />peacetime when his army fatigues were folded away in the cedar chest<br />awaiting the next outbreak of hostilities. Even in the years that he entertained<br />the troops, he usually produced a domestic Christmas special as<br />well and aired the military shows in January.<br /><br />The Christmas specials had become perennial ratings bonanzas that<br />left high Neilsens in Hope’s stocking year after year. Even beyond that,<br />they were television’s longest sustaining Yuletide specials, continuing well<br />after Andy Williams, Glen Campbell and Perry Como had packed away<br />the prop fireplace and the flocked Douglas fir.<br /><br />Whatever mysterious combination of elements made Americans take<br />a break from their last-minute shopping to tune in the mid-December<br />offering, Hope wasn’t about to tinker with it. If we had a musical guest <br />on the billboard, we’d try putting a Yuletide spin on a comedy duet as in <br />this segment with Andy Williams. <br /><br />Andy is Hope’s pop dispensing fatherly advice. Hope is dressed in a Little Lord<br />Fauntleroy outfit with a huge red tie. (Does that say Christmas or what?)<br /><br />(Music: up)<br /><br />ANDY: (Sings) Small fry, struttin’ by the pool room...Small fry, should be<br />in the the school room...You’d best change your ways, you<br />hear...Or Santa’s gonna pass you by this year...<br /><br />ANDY: (Speaks) Let me look at you, Son. (looks) Ugh. I told the doctor<br />when you were born, he was slapping the wrong end.<br />Son, I think it’s time that we had a man-to-man talk.<br /><br />HOPE: Oh, you mean about the birds and the bees?<br /><br />ANDY: Exactly.<br /><br />HOPE: I’d be glad to, Dad. What is it you don’t understand?<br /><br />(Music: up)<br />ANDY: (Sings) Small fry, watchin’ television... Small fry, without my<br />supervision...My, my, the things that you have seen...make<br />Playboy look like Parents Magazine.<br /><br />HOPE: Tell me, Daddy, were you and Mommy happy when I<br />arrived?’<br /><br />ANDY: We were delighted.<br /><br />HOPE: You mean that?<br /><br />ANDY: Of course. You were cute. You were cuddly. And we<br />needed a deduction.<br /><br />HOPE: Daddy, then how come I’m your only child?<br /><br />ANDY: For the same reason no one ever bought two Edsels.<br /><br />The day this number was shot, Andy was delayed at the airport so Hope<br />asked me to stand in for him at rehearsal. When Andy arrived, I told him<br />excitedly, “I stood in for you. I think you’ll really like this spot.”<br />Andy just looked at me and said, “Then why don’t you do it?” Stars<br />really know how to deflate someone’s balloon.<br /><br /><br /><br />Excerpted from THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Behind-the-Scenes Tribute to Bob Hope's Incredible Gag Writers (c) 2009 by Robert L. Mills and published by Bear Manor Media.<br /><br />FREE SAMPLE CHAPTERS + Photos: www.laughmakers.blogspot.com<br /><br />An unabridged audio version read by the author is available at: http://teach.learnoutloud.com/Browse/Arts-and-Entertainment/Film_-Music_-Radio_-TV_-and-Pop-Culture/The-Laugh-Makers/33067<br /><br /> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>A native of San Francisco, Bob Mills served in the Navy from 1956 to 1959, graduated from San Francisco State University in 1962 and the University of California Hastings Law in 1965 and practiced in Palo Alto, California from 1966 until becoming a television writer in 1976, whereupon he ceased all contact with lawyers. He wrote for the "Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts" 1976-77; "The Bob Hope Show" 1977-92 In 1973, he married his wife, Shelley, with whom he lives in Studio City, California.</p> <p> </p> <p>He writes a daily topical blog entitled "Dr. Digit's Hollywood Memory Blog" online at www.bereftontheleft.blogspot.com. He is a volunteer reader at Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic in Hollywood and hosts a weekly program entitled "Inside Television" for Los Angeles Radio Reading Service for the Blind in Northridge, California, streamed online each Tuesday at 0820-0900 Pacific at www.larrs.org. Each New Years Day, he co-hosts a three-hour audio description of the Pasadena Rose Parade broadcast to 52 radio stations for the blind reaching 2.7 million listeners via NPR satellite. He's also a substitute co-host of "Access Unlimited" heard on Tuesdays 2:30 to 3:00 pm Pacific on KPFK, 90.7 fm Los Angeles, 98.7 fm Santa Barbara. Streamed live and archived at www.kpfk.org</p> <p> </p> <p>In 2009, his book THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Behind the Scenes Tribute to Bob Hope's Incredible Gag Writers was published by Bear Manor Media in both a print and an audio version read by the author. Sample chapters: www.laughmakers.blogspot.com An unabridged audio version read by the author is available at: http://teach.learnoutloud.com/Browse/Arts-and-Entertainment/Film_-Music_-Radio_-TV_-and-Pop-Culture/The-Laugh-Makers/33067 He is an emeritus member of the Writers Guild of America and holds memberships in two organizations: Yarmy’s Army, a group of veteran writers and entertainers who meet monthly for dinner and produce fund-raisers for worthy causes including the Motion Picture and Television House and Hospital in Woodland Hills, California, and in The Pacific Pioneer Broadcasters, a social club made up of former radio and television professionals that meets bimonthly for lunch and a celebrity “roast.”</p> <p> </p> <p>Article Source: <a href="http://www.freearticleforyou.com/">Article Directory - http://www.freearticleforyou.com</a></p> <p> </p></p></body> </html>

• TEXT Version

  • Andy Williams Without the Osmonds Author: Robert L. Mills Taking a cue from Will Rogers, Bob Hope never met a holiday he didn’t like.Be it Easter, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s, Groundhog Day or the Ides ofMarch, a holiday theme was always as welcome around the productionoffice as a hot buttered rum in a winter snowstorm.Christmas, of course, was Hope’s annual theme champ even duringpeacetime when his army fatigues were folded away in the cedar chestawaiting the next outbreak of hostilities. Even in the years that he entertainedthe troops, he usually produced a domestic Christmas special aswell and aired the military shows in January.The Christmas specials had become perennial ratings bonanzas thatleft high Neilsens in Hope’s stocking year after year. Even beyond that,they were television’s longest sustaining Yuletide specials, continuing wellafter Andy Williams, Glen Campbell and Perry Como had packed awaythe prop fireplace and the flocked Douglas fir.Whatever mysterious combination of elements made Americans takea break from their last-minute shopping to tune in the mid-Decemberoffering, Hope wasn’t about to tinker with it. If we had a musical guest on the billboard, we’d try putting a Yuletide spin on a comedy duet as in this segment with Andy Williams. Andy is Hope’s pop dispensing fatherly advice. Hope is dressed in a Little LordFauntleroy outfit with a huge red tie. (Does that say Christmas or what?)(Music: up)ANDY: (Sings) Small fry, struttin’ by the pool room...Small fry, should bein the the school room...You’d best change your ways, youhear...Or Santa’s gonna pass you by this year...ANDY: (Speaks) Let me look at you, Son. (looks) Ugh. I told the doctorwhen you were born, he was slapping the wrong end.Son, I think it’s time that we had a man-to-man talk.HOPE: Oh, you mean about the birds and the bees?ANDY: Exactly.HOPE: I’d be glad to, Dad. What is it you don’t understand?(Music: up)ANDY: (Sings) Small fry, watchin’ television... Small fry, without mysupervision...My, my, the things that you have seen...makePlayboy look like Parents Magazine.HOPE: Tell me, Daddy, were you and Mommy happy when Iarrived?’ANDY: We were delighted.HOPE: You mean that?ANDY: Of course. You were cute. You were cuddly. And weneeded a deduction.HOPE: Daddy, then how come I’m your only child?ANDY: For the same reason no one ever bought two Edsels.The day this number was shot, Andy was delayed at the airport so Hopeasked me to stand in for him at rehearsal. When Andy arrived, I told himexcitedly, “I stood in for you. I think you’ll really like this spot.”Andy just looked at me and said, “Then why don’t you do it?” Starsreally know how to deflate someone’s balloon.Excerpted from THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Behind-the-Scenes Tribute to Bob Hope's Incredible Gag Writers (c) 2009 by Robert L. Mills and published by Bear Manor Media.FREE SAMPLE CHAPTERS + Photos: www.laughmakers.blogspot.comAn unabridged audio version read by the author is available at: http://teach.learnoutloud.com/Browse/Arts-and-Entertainment/Film_-Music_-Radio_-TV_-and-Pop-Culture/The-Laugh-Makers/33067      A native of San Francisco, Bob Mills served in the Navy from 1956 to 1959, graduated from San Francisco State University in 1962 and the University of California Hastings Law in 1965 and practiced in Palo Alto, California from 1966 until becoming a television writer in 1976, whereupon he ceased all contact with lawyers. He wrote for the "Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts" 1976-77; "The Bob Hope Show" 1977-92 In 1973, he married his wife, Shelley, with whom he lives in Studio City, California.   He writes a daily topical blog entitled "Dr. Digit's Hollywood Memory Blog" online at www.bereftontheleft.blogspot.com. He is a volunteer reader at Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic in Hollywood and hosts a weekly program entitled "Inside Television" for Los Angeles Radio Reading Service for the Blind in Northridge, California, streamed online each Tuesday at 0820-0900 Pacific at www.larrs.org. Each New Years Day, he co-hosts a three-hour audio description of the Pasadena Rose Parade broadcast to 52 radio stations for the blind reaching 2.7 million listeners via NPR satellite. He's also a substitute co-host of "Access Unlimited" heard on Tuesdays 2:30 to 3:00 pm Pacific on KPFK, 90.7 fm Los Angeles, 98.7 fm Santa Barbara. Streamed live and archived at www.kpfk.org   In 2009, his book THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Behind the Scenes Tribute to Bob Hope's Incredible Gag Writers was published by Bear Manor Media in both a print and an audio version read by the author. Sample chapters: www.laughmakers.blogspot.com An unabridged audio version read by the author is available at: http://teach.learnoutloud.com/Browse/Arts-and-Entertainment/Film_-Music_-Radio_-TV_-and-Pop-Culture/The-Laugh-Makers/33067 He is an emeritus member of the Writers Guild of America and holds memberships in two organizations: Yarmy’s Army, a group of veteran writers and entertainers who meet monthly for dinner and produce fund-raisers for worthy causes including the Motion Picture and Television House and Hospital in Woodland Hills, California, and in The Pacific Pioneer Broadcasters, a social club made up of former radio and television professionals that meets bimonthly for lunch and a celebrity “roast.”   Article Source: Article Directory - http://www.freearticleforyou.com